But you’re smiling like I can’t afford it

“I’m so nervous I won’t make it
‘Cause that’s my favorite waitress
Those big brown eyes
I don’t know what I ordered
But you’re smiling like I can’t afford it”

-Julia – Mt. Joy

Every time I hear this line in this song it makes me smile. No matter what mood I am in, and no matter where I am.

Once upon a time I was at this music festival ready to enjoy a day of music outside on a beautiful October day. And then it rained. Rained as if the sky couldn’t hold it in any longer. As if it had been building up and up and then whoosh. Kinda like well you know. And this was in Houston so even a little rain makes a flood. After quite a bit of running around the entire festival was moved to a bar – not even sure any longer if I recall the name of the bar. Hell it is probably gone by now like most places where women used to gather.

At any rate when we made our way through the doors and into the bar it was asses to elbows deep with women. I mean it was packed. I was excited to be able to see/hear all of these Artists whom I was/am enamored with in a much smaller venue than where it was to be originally. Artist such as Doria Roberts, Catie Curtis and Nini Camps (before she joined Antigone Rising) There were others, but those were the ones I wanted to hear.

To make an extremely long story short, and to bind up the loose ends with the song lyric posted at the beginning of this entry, it became a very late night because of the rain delay and they had to find another venue yadda yadda yadda. To top it off I was not 100 percent before the music started, I think it was allergies or something. So yeah it was near the end of the night when I had finally managed to procure a table to rest my sickness at,  enjoying the music in my sick misery but no longer using my body to  hold a wall up. It was then  I noticed someone staring at me from across the room. I did sort of know this someone,  she had an on again off again thing with a friend. And do you know this attractive lady  gave me a glass of ice water without me asking? It was a miracle. Seriously. Angels may have been singing. Or it could have been the fever.

As I said I was not feeling 100 percent – but I had not told her such. Then before we left the bar at the end of the night, we were all saying our goodbyes (as some people are want to do) and the attractive lady  was speaking to someone to the right of me when she reached out and caressed my left arm … yeah.

Bottom line is I would have bought her anything she wanted in that moment. Anything.  I know me and this is so very true. Why? Because she had that smile and I knew I couldn’t afford it.


Finding Joy

I love these lyrics – I cannot stop hitting repeat when I play the CD.

” So if you worry, don’t worry ’bout me
I always wanted you to see
The California coastline on your own time
And if you worry, don’t worry ’bout me
I always wanted to be free
In the simple way
I found in all of those younger days “

-Mt. Joy

I am working on finding the Joy in my life again. It is getting better now with each passing day – more days are opening up to me – watching hummingbirds or Dragon Flies in the evening remind me of how interesting nature is. That takes the focus off of the what ifs and the how will I ever…

The other day I thought what was I felt back when I felt so damn happy all the time.

I focused on that feeling – and that person I was with at the time – and it made all the difference.

Of course I am not with that person, I am with a different person these days, and one could argue the why I don’t focus on her for that feeling I used to have, and one could pull on a string that is better left untouched unless by cats or kittens but that is a whole other thread in itself.

At any rate I went to bed last night feeling good about things.

I hope we can all strive for that basic feeling.

Lazy Sunday

I shot this picture of Melissa Ferrick back in 2011. She always puts on such a great show.


“Yeah it’s one of those days off
When nothing could go wrong
It’s me and my heart
Just watching the world spin along
We’re watching the world spin along”


Drunken Poet’s Dream

I believe this is the 1st picture I took of Hayes Carll. It was  before a performance at a local place here in town. Probably one of my favorites.

“I got a woman she’s wild as Rome
She likes to lay naked and be gazed upon
She crosses a bridge and then sets it on fire
Lands like a bird on a telephone wire
Wine bottles scattered like last nights clothes
Cigarettes, papers, and dominoes
She laughs for a minute about the shape I’m in
Says, “You be the sinner honey, I’ll be the sin.
I’m gonna holler and I’m gonna scream
I’m gonna get me some mescaline
She brings me roses and a place to lean
A drunken poet’s dream”

~Hayes Carll

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I went out last Saturday night to listen and watch some friends  (musicians) perform.  I quickly found someone who used to own a live music venue here in town. Her first question or statement to me was, “no camera?”

I am not really back to the feeling or the need to shoot pictures every time I go out to listen to live music.  But that being said, the pictures I have always loved taking the most are the ones where someone is being their-self. They are not posing for the camera – they are instead caught in the moment. This one I caught of Sarah McLaughlin at Lilith fair in Indy a few years back shows exactly what I am talking about.

That moment. Nothing staged.  It is just a moment caught in time.


132797_468604837665_6095992_oI remember this picture. I was waiting to shoot some shots of a band,  and given time to spare  I looked around and saw this young guy. He looked like he had been outside working hard all day (it was summer) and all he wanted was to grab something to eat and call it done. Of course I turned the camera on him and snapped this shot.


The photos I have taken which I enjoy the most,  are the ones were no one is posing. This one is of Melissa Ferrick in 2011 I do believe.

It has been so long since I shot this picture that I cannot recall the bands name. I recall we decided to stop in this bar and there was this band playing loud and with such passion so I had to photograph them. And I recall that we had fun.. she and I did.

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My time is being stretched from end to end these days as I move between riding or running (which is going great right now as I have managed to increase my speed quite a bit) to a 3 hour bike meeting on Wednesday night, and then there was the nice friendly get together at an establishment I have really come to enjoy visiting, that was on Monday evening, where we gathered to watch the final NCAA game. In total there ended up being 10 of us there, and that included the two owners. A couple of people ended up pulling the couch out from the sitting area and placing it in front of the big screen TV. Then we scattered chairs around and sat back with popcorn, pretzels and beer. Too bad the game was not more eventful. It was still fun to hang out in a place where I can be relaxed and comfortable. I could write an entire page or half a novel about that – the being relaxed and comfortable part. Maybe later. In short it’s that I can be the me I am now, rather than who I have been. It’s sort of a reconstruction. Which is something I have been doing for years now, but somehow it feels like things have been thrown into overdrive lately. And it’s all good.

And then last night I went back to the establishment I am enjoying frequenting, to see the comedian, Vicky Shaw’s performance. I know I laughed for an hour and a half hardly having time to stop so as to get a breath in. Their plan (the owners) is to have more comedians on the schedule in the coming months. Something I am certainly looking forward to. By the way on the topic of performers, anyone recall Betty from the L word? Yep she is on the performance schedule in June.

And then the following week I am off to take a road trip….

Hunting wabbits

Little to say these days. Perhaps I have gone into hibernation but forgot somehow to tell myself? Does one think ahead about going into hibernation, or is it like waking up with a book pressed against your cheek and the words written in ink across your forehead, after somehow falling asleep while reading in bed?

Reading a lot. I am magazine addicted. My addiction is on overload.

Still increasing my speed on my runs. It is a slow process at best. But a process to say the least.

Going away party tomorrow night for a friend whom is moving to Nashville.

It’s almost Friday.

The weather is teasing us with temperatures in the 50’s for next week. And I am so glad we did not get swept away by snowdrifts, heck we hardly even had snow flurries.

Ahh life is good isn’t it.