These past few weeks I have had a lot of time to think. And think is one of the few things I have done.

Almost 8 years ago (8 years in January of 2020) I went to work at a Hospital in their I.T department. Very quickly it came to light that Management and I had grand ideas as to how to change the out of date atmosphere and improve so many things.

Within 6 months the manger who I was working with, moved up to a new position making more money.

Not long after this I found out we were going to merge with a larger hospital corporation.

Within two years of me starting at the Hospital I moved into another position, then went to work for the new larger corporation ( with me still working at the hospital) .

Then I moved into contract mode as the larger corporation did not do Technical I.T instead it contracted those duties out with a company based out of India. Oh yes.

At this time everyone who could jumped ship. But I stayed behind and picked up more duties while losing sleep over all the craziness that was going on. The lack of support the lack of coordination. The unhappy end users. You name it.

Then after a few years of chaos the Hospital decided to dissolve the partnership. The hope for me, at least in my eyes, was that everything would go back in house.

That did not happen. I was however picked up by the local I.T contracting firm, the company whom would be taking over I.T support for the Hospital. I was given lower pay and less benefits. That happened two years ago. And now the hospital is merging with another local entity.

I knew something was up. And I knew I was tired of dealing with all the crazy. Almost 8 years and I have worked for 4 different employers all while parking in the same parking lot and walking into the same building.

I began the process of looking for another job. Even though I had projects I was working on and even though I had co-workers depending on me.

Then last October 11th,with the the local I.T contracting company saying they are not going anywhere and will keep this lucrative (my words) contract – I was asked via a text by my manager to stop by the office. It’s a nice office. A whole new building was just completed recently using, I am sure, the record gains in income from the I.T Contract with the hospital.

And it was there that I learned that they did not need me any longer. On October the 11th I was let go with 1 month severance package.

I truly felt the earth move under my feet. So many thoughts. So many worries.

I went back to work that day and emptied my desk.

Surprisingly by the time I made it home, upper management at the Hospital called me to let me know how they had no idea this was going to happen. They also told me that the following Monday, I had an interview for my now-former position, but this time I would not be a contractor.

It is terrific that so many people moved so much around to make sure I would not be left jobless. And I did get a small pay increase to boot.

But almost three weeks without working has left me time to think.

I think I need to take control of some things. I need to imagine a new path where no matter what happens (within understanding), I will be able to be self-sufficient. The idea of being unemployed did more than freak me out.

I have to take care of my eight-year-old great-nephew. I am the one who pays the bills and keeps things from going into utter chaos. My significant other has a hard time paying the one bill which she is responsible for. A bill she keeps forgetting to pay or thinks she pays or who the hell knows what. She is a very self-aware person in that if it is something she wants, it always comes first.

Me, I don’t like having anyone or anything able to control so much of my life. And with that, I am looking at my options. Or better yet looking to create opportunities. I want to be if not totally dependent on my self for my work and the money I earn; then, I want to be in a place where at least I can try and supplement my income in case something like this happens again.

And with that I am thinking.

And exploring.

And I am trying to imagine a new game plan.

Before I no longer have so much time on my hands.

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