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Down the Rabbit Hole

A little something I have started working on.

Chapter 1

As the saying goes, the first cut was the deepest. She felt the skin and muscle separating as the long sword , almost without resistance, slid into her leg. The sword slicing into her thigh caused an immediate burning pain, enveloping her thigh and causing her to drop down on her knees onto the gravel strewn earth. Maybe she knew she was in trouble. Oh, who was she kidding. She knew she was in trouble. Hell, she always knew she was in trouble. And trouble, whether from an inget wielding a sword, or from an ex lover, never stopped her for long.

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This is the podcast you should be listening to:

I listened to this episode this morning. It is worth sharing with as many of you as possible. Talk about a game changer!

“Jim Kwik, his real name, is a leader in brain performance, mental fitness and memory improvement. After a childhood brain injury left him with learning challenges, Kwik created strategies to dramatically enhance his cognitive performance. He has since dedicated his life to helping others unleash their true genius and brainpower.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlUFEZ4VTBQ

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When is it too much?

When is it too much.

When is having a goal to earn more money, and then more money, so that you can keep purchasing more things (which require you to earn more money) too much?

I was listening to a co-worker as he was sharing his thoughts on staying or leaving our work environment if he is given the choice to go work elsewhere, and his primary motivator wasn’t whether the move would be beneficial to his well being. It wasn’t whether the move would fit his future self or any goals he may have set for himself. His primary motivator was, would he make more money at the other place?

He listed how many televisions he had in his house and how the 52 inch just doesn’t seem big enough any more. He spoke about the gaming consoles his children had in their play area in the basement. And how he had to figure out how many lights he would have in his new house before he moved in, all the while stealing glances at his apple watch. Then he talked about having to see a spinal doctor for his back pain, how he was diagnosed with diverticulitis as well.

This man works at least 2 jobs as does his wife. And yet he wants more money to buy more things which require him to make more money to buy more things.

When is it too much?

This is the question we should all be asking ourselves. Don’t wait until your health suffers to decide it might be time to put a stop to the train heading full speed for the cliff. Things are just things. They will not make us happy. And striving for more things will not make us happy.

Remember, it’s the journey not the destination.

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The 10,000 emails

I am developing an interest for the idea of Minimalism.

Minimalism resonates with how I want to live my life. How I want to arrange my possessions. Minimalism is not a far stretch for how I have always envisioned my life. I have always felt drained in an environment where there is too much stuff taking up too much space.

This way of wanting to arrange my material possessions, this way of wanting to organize and purge items in my environment, is what led me to looking at my email inbox and the 10,000 emails I found. I mean, why not start there?

Keep in mind I have had the same email account for the past 12 years. I did not expect to find hidden among the Gmail labels, 10,000 emails. Quite a few of the emails were from email lists I had signed up for in the past, and then never found the time to read. Reading some emails brought up many tangled memories from the past. Some were from a friend who took her life 9 years ago. I kept those. Some were from an ex who lives in Singapore. We tried to make a long distance relationship work. And we did for 7 years. I kept those emails too.

Try it for yourself. Look at all the email you have accumulated in your inbox. See for yourself how many emails you have not had the time to read and are taking up space. Delete them.

So many things take up space in our physical and mental places. I pared my email down to 800 from the original 10,000. I am still working on removing more of the clutter.

And I’m working on removing or going through the multitude of items my Dad left behind after he passed. He collected everything. Piles and piles of things. Rows and rows. Rooms and rooms full from the floor to the ceiling. Empty boxes? Sure, we have those by the dozen. Jars? Too many to count. Nails and screws and nuts and bolts? So, so many of those..

The struggle is real.

I watched a Netflix documentary yesterday, which I highly recommend to everyone reading this:

The Minimalists: Less Is Now

You really have to check it out. And do it before the clutter sucks all the happiness from you. Believe me, it will.

And remember, it’s a journey, not a destination.

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How to deal with procrastination:

When we feel the urge to put something off, moving it to our future to-do list so to speak, there are some things we can do to alleviate that need to procrastinate.

One thing we can do is abide by the 2 minute rule.

For instance, if it takes 2 minutes (or less) to complete a task, we should go ahead and complete the task when we see it.

Put the dishes in the sink, 2 minutes to do, then do it.

Answer an email in 2 minutes or less, mark that one as done.

Two minutes to spare? Put the dirty clothes in the hamper or place the remote control back on the table where you can easily find it later.

All of these things add up and allow us more time for other tasks. Plus they remove some of the mental burden we carry around with us each day.

I personally have been reminding myself about the 2 minute rule lately. If I see something which needs to be done, and I know I can knock it out in 2 minutes, I go ahead and do the task. it leaves me feeling good about accomplishing something and all of these completed tasks remove weight from my mind of things needing to be done.

Give it a try and let us know how it works for you.

Remember. It’s the journey not the destination.

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Procrastination

We have all been there. We stare at a blank sheet of paper, or a pile of items we need to sort through, or a blinking cursor on the monitor in front of us. And there we sit. Doing nothing. Or we tell ourselves we will do the task later., When we feel more like it. Because that will ever happen. That being felt like doping it. Like some giant leap of motivation will envelop us and the next thing we know, everything we have put off will start getting done.

Why do we procrastinate?

Clearly, procrastinating is not something we can think of as being beneficial. Putting something off which we need to do is not usually a good thing. Unless you put off cutting the grass, and then as luck would have it there is lightening strike right in your yard which would have zapped you to a pile of ashes had you been in the yard. But you were inside the house safely sharpening all the pencils you could find just so you could tell yourself, hey I’m doing something productive!

Some reasons we procrastinate:

We procrastinate because we fear failure. And if we do nothing well then, we cannot fail.

We procrastinate because we feel we are not good enough to complete the task. We are imposters.

We procrastinate because maybe tomorrow will be a better day to tackle that pile of items we have been meaning to go through. Because tomorrow is not today.

We procrastinate because we are perfectionist.

What does being a perfectionist have to do with procrastinating? Perfectionist procrastinate to avoid failure. The way the thinking goes, if you put something off long enough, then you can delay the potential (but not likely) negative results.

“Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.

~ Brené Brown

This is just the beginning. We can add more to why we procrastinate, and also what we can do to stop procrastinating.

Remember. It’s the journey not the destination.

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Creating a System to Achieve Your Goals

I am working on creating a system which will help me achieve, or at least help me work toward any goals I set for myself. Not only will the system help me achieve the goals I set, it should also give me the foundation to build habits which are healthy and productive and which are to be used in other parts of my life. That is my thinking anyway.

For instance, I know I need to return to a healthier lifestyle. And in the past, I was quite an active person. I would often spend my free time biking and hiking. But, I slowly lost all the gains I had worked to achieve when I stopped taking care of myself, and became the primary caregiver for my father for the last 7 years of his life.

I mentioned in a previous post how much reading the book; Atomic Habits has invigorated my thinking. One thing he writes about is how we need to set up a system which will help us build better habits and achieve our goals. With this in mind, I have set aside time during my lunch to go out and take a walk. But better than just setting aside time and saying I will take a walk, because doing that opens the door for a lot of excuses, I am setting up a system. A system where I specifically focus on the details. For instance, on the days where I will take a walk, I set my workout clothes on the chair in my bedroom. And I mentally tell myself that at a certain time after I have eaten lunch, I will put on those clothes and take a walk. Doing this removes any barriers I might have, or which I might make up as an excuse to not walk.

And that is it, really. I am focusing on setting up systems for things I want to do. My system is simple right now, I set out my workout clothes in the morning while I am getting ready for work. This takes away any barriers which I might use as excuses. I mean hey I could just tell myself that it is too much trouble to find my clothes, to find my socks and my shoes during my lunchtime. For me it would be easier to sit on the couch and keep watching friends repeat until it was time to go back to work. But each day that I strive for 1 percent better means I am getting some place. I have a favorite you-tuber I enjoy watching. He sort of explains it as we don’t have to be 100 percent perfect, really we only need to try for 70 percent. Or maybe 60 percent.

No matter how we look at it, if it is striving to be 1 percent better than the day before, or trying to be a 70 percent out of 100, we are in fact improving.

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Remember, it’s the Journey, not the destination.

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Be Specific

Going back to the idea of goals and what you (or I) would do if you knew you would not fail, I think where I and maybe you become tripped up is, we are not specific enough.

I always like to joke and tell people that when I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury years ago, I had been asking for some time off, a new hairstyle and to lose weight. I should have been specific in my request and stated – but not at the expense of a life threatening injury. Right?

When I went to college I knew I wanted to earn my degree, That was a goal I had in mind. But to get to that goal I had to pass certain classes. And in order to pass those classes I had to complete assignments. And in order to complete those assignments sometimes I had to do research and that could mean going to the library or otherwise gathering information.

You see how this works out right?

We can set goals for what we want to achieve for ourselves, but if we don’t break down the steps and concentrate on the beginning, on the details, we are highly unlikely to achieve those goals.

And I want all of us to achieve our goals.

Not really off topic but, I am currently reading, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by: James Clear.

I am actually listening to the book on Audible. Atomic Habits is likely one of the best books I have encountered in my lifetime. Check it out and see for your self.

I plan on writing more about the book, how it is resonating with me, and my progress implementing the steps outlined in the book at a later date.

And remember, It’s a Journey not a destination.

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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD NOT FAIL?

This post is not really a follow up on the previous post, rather I was thinking about something and I wanted to throw it out there to see what others might think.

I bet many of you are familiar with this quote, “What would you do if you knew you would not fail?”

I recall reading that quote for the first time many years ago. After reading it and mulling it over in my mind, I found I could not answer that question. Heck, I could not even plan an answer or guesstimate or any other amates one can think of.

It felt like such a big question. One that carried so much weight to it. I felt as though I were failing just by not having the answer to the question. Talk about not even getting out of the starting gate on that one.

Dear reader, when you read that quote, does it spark enthusiasm and drive towards a new goal, or idea? Or are you like me, finding yourself tripping over the letters before you even make sense of the question?

Or have any of you used that question to propel yourself forward into fresh adventures throughout your life? Please share if you have.

Perhaps there are some of us who find they are blocked before we even plan an action, and there are others who take the leap of faith and run with it.

This dear readers will require further exploration, don’t you think?

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Breaking down the Blockers

My previous post was about Blockers.

Today we begin the work of acknowledging these blockers and start designing a plan to break through these blockers.

The first step is acknowledgement. Read that again. Acknowledgment.

I believe if we don’t look that black hole of an abyss, that blocker, straight on, then how can we ever have a chance at reaching any goals we set for ourselves? It is as simple as that. The beginning is at any rate.

Let’s say, as an example, that you have been thinking about finishing your college degree, but something is blocking you from even starting that process. Or perhaps it’s an entire herd of some things. I mean like, maybe they are all congregated into one gigantic pile of stuff and you can’t even separate them to sort them out to begin with. Hey, I have been there, and it is tough. It can feel like there is a mountain in front of you and you don’t even know where to begin the climb because all you can see is that peak way up in the clouds. And it looks like a rough hike up a treacherous trail to the land of unknowns.

Time for some hard truths.

So here is the nitty gritty truth. There are no guarantees. None. We all have a finite time on this earth and no one has the inside edge to know when their time will be up. And you say to me, hey why did you put that in here, I thought we were talking about blockers? because I want you to know, just as I know, that no matter how we plan our paths, that no matter what we do, success is not a given. I wish I could sprinkle some fairy dust on you and all your dreams would become your wished for reality, but that is not how this works.

How it works is to first acknowledge that there is something blocking the path.

Second, we take baby steps towards figuring out how to go around, go through, or go over that something.

Because the only sure thing we have in this life is, we will never succeed if we do not try.

So my challenge to you is, grab some paper and write some of your goals, or your wishes, or whatever you choose to call them. Then stare at those words written on that page and become really familiar with them. Put the list in your pocket and take it out when you can. Maybe add some more and take some off the list.

We will touch on whether they are really your goals, or your wishes, or what you think you should do in a future post.

Remember, dear readers, it’s a journey, not a destination.